Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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