He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
