The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
