i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
