Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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