Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
