I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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