I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
