And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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