apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
