apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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