He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
