i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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