You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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