so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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