Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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