I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
