Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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