Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
