It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
