Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
