i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
