My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I supernannyed him into submission
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
