Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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