I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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