So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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