Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
