he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
