He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
