He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
