He had one of those small greek statue penises
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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