a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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