Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
