apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
