Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
