Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
