ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
