so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
