Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
