Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
