So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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