I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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