I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
time to smoke my breakfast
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
