Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
