East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he fucked my hip out of place.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I wear drunk well.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
