This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
A bitchslap is in order.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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