Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
