I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I have demons in me.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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