Screwed.edu
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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