there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Michael Bay diarrhea
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
