Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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