Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
