Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
