problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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