he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
