we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
