please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
