This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
