loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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