What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
