Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
