Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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